It used to be, back in the day, that women who were pregnant expected to give birth at home, maybe with all of their experienced female family members attending, or maybe a midwife. These days, women just assume they will be giving birth at the hospital, where they can be given drugs to dull the pain, drugs to counteract the effects of the first drugs, and eventually just cut the baby out if it won't come in their own time frame.
Disclaimer: I know that these interventions are, sometimes, medically necessary. In those cases, I'm all for having them available.
When did these interventions become "necessary" for every laboring woman? Why is it so difficult for women to face the fact that they were designed to give birth in the way that makes them most comfortable? Not every woman wants to give birth in a hospital bed, lying on her back with her feet in stirrups. Some want to be immersed in soothing, warm water. Some want to be bent over the couch with someone massaging their backs. It seems, though, that insurance companies think hospital births (though almost $17k more expensive than home births) are the only way to go.
What do I think? I think God gave women the ability to birth on their own terms, but either legislation, insurance, or a combination of factors limit the options available to pregnant women. Here is my dilemma: I got pregnant about a month after I got married, so of course it was unplanned. In order to get any kind of prenatal care, I needed insurance, because we wouldn't have been able to afford anything out-of-pocket. Connecticut's HUSKY health plan steps in, and I am on my way to the OB office for my prenatal checkups. Then, I start doing research, silly me, and find out how much lower of a risk it is to have a home birth... and all of the arguments for/against it which I will not bother to put onto this post or else it will become a small book.
First of all, I go looking to see if HUSKY covers any midwives in my area. Well, the only midwives in my area are the ones who work for the doctors at the OB office... and they don't do home births. The best options for me are places about an hour's drive away from me, and I get the feeling that in the throes of labor, waiting an hour for my midwife to show up just wouldn't be fun. But, lo and behold, after WEEKS of research, I find that there are some midwives that are relatively close! They're CPMs (Certified Professional Midwives), but I didn't know the difference at the time.
The difference is that Connecticut doesn't recognize CPMs. Therefore, HUSKY will not cover their services. Before I go on and rant about this, I will take a few seconds to try to calm down.
...
Yeah, ok. So, as I was saying... I find this wonderful lady who is a CPM and has attended the births of many of my friends, but the prospects of finding a way to pay for it with insurance are looking dim. I go to rant about this to others, and they get me started on the whole "it's not safe to birth at home" deal again, which gets me upset... again. When I get upset, I get discouraged and want to just give up. But not this time. This time, my baby is the focus. I want what is best for both of us. I know that this is what others want, too, but it's hard to believe they have been doing the same research that I have or see things the same way or talked to the same people. So what am I supposed to do?
The only thing Christians can do in this sort of situation is give up. But, wait. I don't mean give up. No, I mean give UP! Give the situation to God. I have tried my best and have failed. It is at this point in any situation where people need to slap themselves on the forehead and realize how stupid they've been because they weren't letting God into the picture. So... alright, God. It's your turn now.
And, you know what? I am still a little upset about the whole situation. I'll be honest. But not as upset, and certainly more confident that whatever happens is what God wants. If I continue to push my own will into action, things will just turn out badly in the end. And, like I said, my baby is important. I won't risk forcing my own plans, because only God knows what will happen with my baby. God is bigger. God is wiser. God is God. I need to let Him be God and let me be me.
What's the point of this post, then? It started as me getting my frustration out about the lack of sense evident in CT legislation. But now, it's about something everyone faces: pride. If you're facing an impossible situation, just give it up to God. He specializes in impossible, and he knows the best outcome. I'd be thrilled if I could somehow have a home birth and be able to afford it either out-of-pocket or through insurance... but, y'know what? The baby will come either way. I just have to accept God's plan for Xavier's birth. Getting in that habit now will help me accept God's plan for Xavier's entire life. I shouldn't let my pride get in the way of that.
